Who Killed Me ?

Matthew Dear Foundation

Guest Book

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Stella Di Molfetta said on Apr 20, 2015 2:57PM

Our darling Matthew we miss and love you so much always in our conversation talking about you, and today we will be saying 6 years without you my nephew love aunty stella Rob Dan Amiee your god daughter Tiana and all the new babies we have now god bless xxxxx

Amiee said on Apr 20, 2015 2:56 PM

6 years today since you left us, I think of you and miss you everyday my precious cousin, I love you always and forever, Rest In Peace Sweet Angel, love always Amiee xxxxx

col said on Feb 3, 2015 0:10 AM

hi tina...just seen your report on television. so sorry to hear the very sad new about matthew. my thoughts are with you and your family x

Amiee said on Jul 27, 2014 0:50 AM

Happy birthday my special cousin!! wish u were here,I think of u everyday, u r always in my heart and always on my mind I miss you dearly rest in peace angel earths loss is heavens gain u r never forgotten love you always from ur cousin amiee xxxxxxx

Stella Di molfetta said on Jul 27, 2014 0:39 AM

My darling Maffi Happy Birthday think of you every day but more so today. Love you maff love from your aunty Stella

stella Di molfetta said on Apr 20, 2014 4:11 PM

my darling maff 5 long years without you. We still miss you so much you are not here for us to see,but you are and always will be in our heart. God bless you my dear nephew, until we meet again love aunty Stella xxxx

Amiee said on Apr 20, 2014 5:30 AM

My darling cousin Matthew, not a day goes by that I don't think of u!! I love and miss u so much I have so many wobderful childhood memories of us playing in the tree house!! U r always on my mind and I will always live and miss u always and forever!! I love u my darling cousin lots of love from ur cousin amiee xxxxxx

Laura Everett said on Apr 3, 2014 2:56 PM

Whilst researching a work related project on the use on injected anabolic steroids I found the information on this site very useful.

jason said on Mar 29, 2014 4:55 PM

Hi all just a message about my story and the harsh effects of steroids! I am 33 years old I have been training over 10 years and always been fascinated with bodybuilding I always from a young age wanted to go on stage bodybuilding My story started 3 years ago I was natural and tried to compete I got ill about 3 weeks out from a natural bodybuilding competition due to the strict diet and training so I my weakness the year after I decided to try steroids im not going to lie the effects was amazing little did I realise wht was going on in the background. I did my first show last year and won you would think that was amazing right wrong ! the effects of the steroids aftermath was horrendous and still is through this drug ive nearly lost my family and lost myself its altered me beyond belief I used to be so happy all im left with now is depression too the point where I have considered taking my life luckily my family have been there for me and now im starting my new journey unfortunately a lot of young people like Mathew don't get a second chance! If I could offer any advice I would be don't take this drug it really is not worth it it will cause nothing but pain and pain for the ones around you if my message can stop one person from trying this drug I my job is done stay clean you may not get a second chance.

Robert Aulenbach said on Feb 23, 2014 7:23 PM

You have very obviously touched many, many people around the world in a very positive way and I am certain you will have unimaginable peace, love, joy and bliss bestowed upon you in this life and especially when you are reunited with Matthew wherever such TRULY GOOD, LOVING, CARING people like you and he go after this life. There is a very special place there waiting for you!!

Julie Shaw said on Jan 24, 2014 12:41 PM

Hello, My brother Craig Morgan, was Matthews friend., Or 'trigger' he referred to him as. I came across this Page on Craigs Facebook. And whilst reading your story, it really touched me. I would like to share this Page on my Facebook, so more people are made aware of the dangers of drugs. God bless you trigger.

Sue said on Jan 17, 2014 10:36 PM

Hi Tina, How terribly sad, I have tears in my eyes and I am sure you still do too. That's a brilliant site you have put together. Can't imagine the grief you went through. Well done for being so amazing and putting so much energy in making people aware. Love to you all xxx

stella Di molfetta said on Dec 31, 2013 0:47 AM

Christmas 2013 has gone we raised our glasses and opened our presents, and we were thinking of you. You are always in our thoughts. It will soon be 2014 another year without you,but our love for you will be forever love from your aunty Stella x

faith brooks said on Dec 30, 2013 2:56 AM

Hello, I have read most of your website. I am so sorry for what happened to matthew. I am a concerned parent and would like to know what I can do to keep my son from wanting to take steroids. I do agree w you that it is a distorted body image similar to girls with eating disorders. I remember my mothers frustration and fear when dealing with my sisters bulimia. Now that 25 years later i'm dealing with it with my 19 year old. No matter what I read to him it doesn't seem to effect him. He has said to me many times "Arnold schartznager is still alive and he's been taking steroids for 30 or more years!" I am going to take him to his doctor and have him talk to him, but after that I'm not sure. I feel that this influence is so powerful. Thank you

auntie molly said on Jul 18, 2013 5:56 PM

the hurt never goes though the tears may dry,another birthday coming and you not there to celebrate with us all.but you will always be remembered with love

Stella Di Molfetta said on Apr 26, 2013 0:50 AM

My darling nephew Matthew, I couldn't write my message to you on your 4th anniversary, as I wasn't feeling up to it. People might think as the years go by we except loosing you easier, but its not I think its harder. We miss you so much I still feel very bitter Maff. God bless you and let the angels keep you under their wings. Love you aunty Stella

amiee dimolfetta said on Apr 20, 2013 3:00 PM

4 years 2day my percious cousin, I still think of u and miss u everyday it breaks my heart 2 no ur not here but I hope ur watching down on us all. The sun is shining 4 u 2day sleep tight angel love and miss u always and forever love from ur cousin amiee xx

Stella Di Molfetta said on Dec 25, 2012 6:10 PM

Wishing you a Happy christmas our darling Maffi up there with the angels and your grandads. You are still in our thoughts everyday and especially today, you are not with us in body, but in spirit and your spirit will be in our hearts forever. God bless maff, love you aunty Stella Rob Dan Amiee and Tiana your goddaughter. xxxxxxxxxx

Jhunehl said on Nov 24, 2012 3:28 AM

Hi, you don't know me, but I was really affected by your story. I am an undergraduate from California, and I am writing my senior thesis on the effects of muscular men in the media on the average young male's self-esteem and body-perception. I came across a news article about your son while I was researching online and some how found this website. I just wanted to offer my condolences to you and your family. My family has also been affected by drug use, and I just wanted you to know that the efforts you put into this website are not going to waste! People from across the world, including myself, are being touched by it. You guys truly are in my prayers.

Tracy Joyce said on Aug 13, 2012 10:15 PM

So sad rip matt sleep tight xx

Nanny Dear said on Jul 26, 2012 10:31 PM

My darling grandson Matthew should have been 21 today, if only Maffi. A special person, a special face, someone we loved so much we can never replace. Love you Maffi nanny Dear x

Stella Di Molfetta said on Jul 26, 2012 10:26 PM

Our darling Maff,you would have been 21today, a beautiful young man. I hope you are having a lovely day with your grandads,we are sad that we are not celebrating with you,and having a beer or two!. It still breaks out hearts that your not with us, but we will love you always GOD BLESS Maff aunty Stella, Rob, Dan, Amiee and your god daughter Tiana xxxxx

Nigel said on Jun 27, 2012 4:03 AM

I was very moved to read the article about Matthew on the Mirror's website. I have first hand experience; in 1993, after a 'beginners' course of steroids, I came down with Guillain-Barre-Syndrome (GBS) and spent 8 months in hospital - 8 weeks of which I was completely paralised on a ventilator in intensive care. Like in your son's situation there wasn't conclusive proof that the illness was caused by the steroids but I believe they played a large part. My thoughts are with you in this time of loss. Good luck with your quest! Regards Nigel

Duncan Baldwin said on May 9, 2012 8:12 AM

Dear Chris, Tina ,Shelagh et al, Your family has something to which lots of families can only aspire. Your capacity to love.Maff will be an eternal symbol of your hearts' ability to overcome your grief to enable you all to carry on opposing drug / steroid abuse through the foundation. God bless you and keep you .

StellaDi Molfetta said on Apr 20, 2012 1:55 PM

My lovely nephew Maff, three years without you, where has that time gone. We miss you so much, and think of you every day, we hope you are with your grandad and are happy together. We will always think of you Maff and keep you in our heart forever. Love you aunty Stella x

nicola jane herring said on Mar 9, 2012 12:04 PM

Hello, Im a friend of matts from sea cadets.. I grew very close to him and I miss him like mad!! I came across this website and my god chris and tina its amazing! such touching words from the parents of such a amazing inspirational young man. I still cannot believe to this day what has happened to him and it still hasnt properly sunk in. Thoughts are with your whole family.. Matt you will always be loved and never forgotten and you will always have a place in my heart.. I want to come and visit the place where you have been laid to rest and talk to you because I know you will be able to hear me.. miss you so much beautiful angel! rest in peace xxxx

Duncan Baldwin said on Feb 5, 2012 7:59 PM

Sheila, Matthew's gran bought your terrible tragedy to my attention. Having read through all the information on your website I admire your tenacity in your determination to get rid of the filth of who are purveying this poisonous stuff. God bless your family. Long may you prevail.

Beth Pemberton (previously Pearl) said on Jan 31, 2012 1:09 AM

Just wish to express my condolences once again to Matt's family. Its been years since we were at primary school together-and I still remember knee-capping him in the playground at St Helen's, but I also remember there not being a sweeter little boy nor one so blonde! His death will not be forgotten, though his was a life cut short). Sending my love and best wishes. God bless. Beth x

Stella Di Molfetta said on Dec 31, 2011 9:50 PM

Dear Maff Another Christmas without you in person, but always in our hearts. Tomorrow 2012 another year without which breaks our hearts, but you will be with us forever Maff in our hearts and thoughts. Love aunty Stella xxx

Stella Di Molfetta said on Jul 26, 2011 2:44 PM

My dear nephew Maff. HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY,you are loved and missed more and more. Have a great birthday with the angels. Love you aunty Stellaxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stella Di Molfetta said on Apr 20, 2011 1:19 AM

Darling Matthew, two years without you, but never out of our thoughts. I think of you and talk about you every day, and so does your goddaughter Tiana. You were such good kind person, you will never be forgotten Maff. Love you your aunty Stella x

Frankie said on Apr 18, 2011 10:29 PM

I cannot express how deeply sadden I was and still am by Matthews death. I still have a photo of him grinning with cake all over his mouth at Jack's birthday party! When he was older he revealed his nature at a summer Navel party! There he was tall and handsome dressed in the cadet outfit, helping to pour champagne into peoples glasses while his sister Ellen clutched his arm! Not once did he tell her to leave him alone! He just seemed to love her so much that it made an impact on me that I will never forget!

Morgan said on Apr 11, 2011 5:57 PM

He would be so proud of everything you are doing. Cant believe its 2 years this month i think about you everyday. i miss you n love you like meowness ;)

Teresa Harvey said on Mar 21, 2011 7:02 PM

Wow you have set up such a great website so informative and packed full of information. So pleased to see so many people have been using and am sure it has already helped people, to make informed choices. Well done to you all you have done an amazing job. Know Matt would be so proud of all your hard work. Not a day goes by without thinking of him and you all. Loads of love always to you all xx

Gemma said on Mar 6, 2011 4:51 PM

Such an amazing boy. Miss him so so much. Never forgotten xx

Mandy said on Jan 11, 2011 1:10 AM

Dear Chris and Tina, I don't know if you remember me but I am Mandy who used to live across the road to you in Selwyn. I was just looking through the yellow advertiser at the reviews of 2010 when I saw a name I recognised, your little boys. I say little as he was when I saw him last. I am so sorry to hear the news. I was shocked when I read what had happened and couldn't quite believe it. I looked at your website and saw the pictures of you both so I knew it was you. I can't imagine what you all must have gone through (and still are). What a terrible thing. I just had to let you know I was thinking of you and wanted to pass on my condolences. Take care and best wishes to you and your family, Mandy.

Sonny Appleby said on Sep 10, 2010 11:49 PM

Matthew I still can’t come to terms with your lost I can’t move on and let life live as I still have things to say to you, confide in you, share with you. Matthew times are hard and I didn't and don’t have many friends I can really rely on and trust, you where one of the small few, I’m sorry Matthew, if I could turn back time I would do it all again, just how it was when we were kids, I should of been a better friend, and better person, an adult. I owe you and your family and lot in life, I can guarantee that I will make you proud. I love you Matthew you and miss you to the end of the world, one day my friend I will see you again, one day. all my love sonny x

Tanya said on Aug 8, 2010 1:31 AM

I didn't know Matthew but my sister Gina was a friend of his and speaks dearly of him. I just wanted to say so sorry for your loss of such a lovely boy. The people that have done this should have got a lot more. Wish you all the best, here if you need a chat xx

Lise said on Jul 26, 2010 7:36 PM

I am writing u from Bourget a small town in Ontario Canada. I google "Steroids"..I wanted to know more about it. I was told by a friend that my son of 27 yrs was on steroids. Reading Matt's story I will try the best that I can to save my son Merci Please continue, Matt may have saved a life, and on another continent Merci Thank you Lise P.S I needed to let u know that someone across the world cares about you, keep your energy to help others xxxx

Jack said on Jul 23, 2010 3:44 PM

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I am only 14, I was thinking of taking steroids I never knew it could kill me! I am sorry for your loss thanks.

Marilyn said on Jul 23, 2010 0:05 AM

I used to work with Tina in the early 80s; she is the kindest person I have ever met. I attended Tina and Chris' wedding and remember holding Matthew as a baby. I was devasted when I read the news last year and my thoughts have not strayed from the family, their suffering and their courage. How admirable to be working so hard to raise awareness of the dangers of steroids, how unselfish to contribute to saving the lives of others. My support and my heart go out to you all. With much love, Marilyn.

Don Hooton said on Jul 10, 2010 8:10 PM

We lost our son to steroids too. And in doing so, we learned first hand how dangerous these drugs can be. Good luck in your fight there in the UK. We are waging a similar battle here in the US. www.taylorhooton.org

Barbara & John Thomson said on Jun 29, 2010 2:34 AM

My wife and I attended Chris And Tina’s wedding and watched Matthew grow up, its an absolute tragedy for them regarding there eldest son, who was a quiet lad, never in trouble always ready to help others. His whole ambition was to join the marines; He was very fit and did not need steroids, but like many young men thought he needed muscle to join the marines. I feel if the courts gave heavier sentences to the pushers then drug barons would find it harder to recruit people to sell their drugs. Is it any wonder why some people take the law into their own hands, when you read the pathetic sentences the two lads got for selling steroids to Matthew Chris and Tina have to be commended for setting up the web site in the hope it will help other young men and women think of the possible consequences before taking steroids or any other type of drug not prescribed by a doctor.

Maurice J said on Jun 17, 2010 3:01 AM

A very informative and moving web site. Such a sad loss. Having looked at the comments made in the guest book I can only start to understand how much Matthew was loved by those who knew him.

morgan said on Jun 3, 2010 9:57 PM

God I can't believe it's been over a year now since you left us. I miss you so much Matt, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. My room is full of pictures of us and all the good times we had. It is so unreal and I still go to pick up the phone to call you. I miss you so much and I love you like meowness;) Hope the other angels are treating you well and you're behaving yourself. I love you<3

Rod Morison,.M.M. said on Jun 3, 2010 2:29 PM

My heart felt condolences to Matt's family. I served in the Corps if this web site just makes one person stop and think then it would have succeeded. From what I read about Matt I think he would have made an excellent Marine.

Theresa said on Jun 3, 2010 11:19 AM

Dear Matthew, I think of you often and just remember you as the most gentle person......My heart breaks that you are not with us anymore...But you made your Mum & Dad very proud to have you as a son...Don't think the parents of the ' DEALERS' will ever be able to say that about their son's.....GOD BLESS Matthew. X

Nicole Harris said on Jun 3, 2010 0:20 AM

Matt was my bestest friend, i could tell him anything, and he was an amazing person to be around; lots of people would agree im sure. He was around for me through everything and would help me through my troubles and rough times this is the type of person he was always willing to help. Still cant believe your gone honey, your are my shinning star and always will be, nobody can ever replace you babe, you were and still are the best mate anyone could ever wish for. You were the wrong person to be taken from us, we were so close for years, i still look up and think are you still lookking over me, helping me through the hard chips of life, i still speak to you like you are going to reply. I miss you so much you were like a brother to me, thank you for everything you ever did for me! you're the best :) Thoughts are with the family, Peter you know im always right by your side throughout everything <3 x Sleep Tight Matthew Christopher Dear ilove&+MissYouLOADS XxX

Laura said on Jun 2, 2010 5:58 PM

My son Shaun is in the Marines mad about fitness and such it is such a brave thing you are doing, by sharing your grief you may save a life thank you

Carrie-Ann said on May 28, 2010 3:25 AM

it's weird writing about Matt because it doesn't feel asif he's gone. really i guess he isn't.. Dispite the petty little rows we had, the time i new Matt i came to know he was such a loving boy. I just wish i'd made more effort with the time i had with you Matt, 2 christmas's ago me you ash and hannah was driving about till late hours. I'm so sorry this had to happen to you, i hope and pray your safe now. and i hope your resting well. none of us will forget you, i'l be with you one day.. Sleep tight untill we meet again. you didn't deserve this... i hope you can hear me.. love and miss you so much <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Diane Birch said on May 27, 2010 2:44 AM

I am proud to say that I now know the Dears. Unfortunately I didn't get the opportunity to meet Matthew, but I think I have the measure of him, and feel that he would be proud of what his family are doing to educate young people in the dangerous side effects of steroids. I will do all I can to help them to achieve their quest to ensure that his death becomes a legacy to those that will be saved in his name.

Sam Cairns said on May 26, 2010 3:31 AM

Matt, i hope your taking care up there, chating up all the ladys, everybody misses you mate, one day ill be back with you, like old times to college. R.I.P matt, we all miss and love you loads

claudio said on May 25, 2010 9:06 PM

matt you all ways be missed mate, you was never horribel to any single person even when they got on your nerves. i rember the good times when u was in school mate, when it was your last day lol...... hope your having fun up there mate all ways gona miss you mate.. REST IN PEACE MATTHEW DEAR..xx

Shelley said on May 25, 2010 0:45 AM

I just want to say I really feel for your family. Your website has been written from the heart and I feel your frustration at the punitive sentence handed out. If it had been over here in the States they would have got a minimum of 5 years each. Carry on the good work - the UK will catch up in the end.

Jake Last said on May 21, 2010 3:33 AM

I was so sad to hear about the news when I did. It's been a while since I'd seen Matt but it was still devastating to hear. He was a lovely person to talk to when I use to see him and I'm just happy I can say I had the pleasure of knowing someone as kind as him.

conor gordon said on May 21, 2010 3:31 AM

i didnt really no matt but no peter and his oher brothers and sister and matt werent bad he was good just 1 silly thing he be missed by ever 1 r.i.p matt x

Michael said on May 21, 2010 3:29 AM

Hey, sorry to hear about your loss, i didn't personally know Matt, but my sister was good mates with him and i heard alot of great things about him, he must of been a nice guy, he didn't deserve this to happen, neither would anyone, R.I.P

Jamie said on May 21, 2010 3:28 AM

Matt was such a legend, cant get the time he pretended to be peter texting me then gave me a lift home when i was stranded one night. that was the kinda guy he was always thinking and caring about others. steroids aren't worth the risk and the scum that deal them aren't worth the time. Miss you man XX

Johm said on May 19, 2010 10:01 PM

So sorry to read about what happened to your son. God Bless you in your efforts.

Shannon said on May 19, 2010 4:19 PM

MATTHHEWWW :) You were an angel. and still are werever your memory remains. Which is Everywhere. Still remember your smile, your laugh and your cuddles. You were the friend anybody could reley on babe. MISS YOU EVERYDAY THAT GOES BY :) Love you loads honey xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Elaine said on May 19, 2010 9:19 AM

Matthew was a great kid, it is hearbreaking to know that such a tragic loss had to happen to an innocent child to get publicity about steroids conveyed to other kids his age. I hope that schools across the country will educate children before it is something they seriously consider. I just hope that no other family has to go through the heartbreak and pain that his family and friends have gone through because of a drug that people are so misinformed about!!!! The loss doesnt get any easier it is just a tragic thing that we hope other kids will learn about and avoid!!!!!!!!

Carissa Johnson said on May 19, 2010 5:53 AM

Matt was a great kid and he was like a big brother to me. I knew him for a few years and when I heard he was gone I just could not belive it... After he passed I use his story to show my friends about drugs and what can heppen. I have used Matt in many things for school too. He was the best... I love you Matt.... Sorry for the loss... xxx

Gemma said on May 18, 2010 9:30 PM

Matt was an AMAZING boy, the most nicest and genuine boy that i had ever met. He never said a bad word about anyone. He had a heart of gold and always looked out for those closest to him. The time i spent with Matt, were the best times of my life, and i'll treasure them forever. I think about him every day, i'll never forgot him. Ever. Miss & love you so much matt! rest in peace handsome! xxxxxx

Carly said on May 18, 2010 5:09 PM

Matt was a good friend to me whilst i was at cadets, always happy and a good laugh to be around, i miss chatting away to him... The Matt trophy is a brilliant idea aswell, his memory weill always be kept alive x the websites brilliant, people need to be warned about steriods xxx

Adam Connolly said on May 18, 2010 4:43 PM

Matt was a great kid. No one deserves this, but especially not Matt. The least anyone can do is take a lesson from this x

Michael said on May 18, 2010 3:28 AM

Hi sorry to read about, what happened to your son. I think your web site is very good and informs the public well. I was thinking of buying some steroids until I read what happened to Matthew. Now I don't think its such a good idea.

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